One in Four

Sometimes it's hard to know whether to blog about certain life events. It's not like I'm an excellent blogger anyways and I always have fear that what I write may be taken the wrong way. But sometimes things happen in life that change you. And until it happens it happens to you, you can't understand the emotions involved and that a surprising amount of people around you have faced the same thing. On Thursday I was routinely scrolling through Facebook when I saw an image that took my breath away. Before this summer I would have seen it, thought of some friends, and honestly gone on with my day. But this year is different.

Apparently October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. And I am 1 in 4. 

I should go ahead and say here that every "I" should be a "We." It was Clark's baby too. We shared in both joy and grief. However, I can't personally account for what I am sure is an equal amount of complicated emotions for him. But I can say that I can't imagine a better, more supportive partner to weather this storm with.

So since this is the awareness month, I will share my story. I'm not looking for pity or attention. I just want to share so other Angel Baby Mothers can remember they are not alone. I'm not proclaiming that since I've had one I'm now an expert on the subject. I'm just sharing my own personal experience and hoping I don't misrepresent a whole group of women. Miscarriage is something society doesn't talk about, but deeply affects more people than we think. For those that haven't personally experienced a miscarriage, maybe reading our story can provide insight into the complex emotions involved and how to support those loved ones. 

Anyone who has known me for any amount of time is familiar with my love for babies and longing to be a mother. Even before we were married, I couldn't wait for the time when Clark and I would have brown-eyed babies. I {im}patiently waited through vet school. I {im}patiently waited until we had moved and were settled into our jobs. Then finally we bought a house. We were finally ready. Surely this was God's timing too!? And just like I would have pictured God to plan it, we found out were were expecting the week of our fifth wedding anniversary. Those two pink lines were the best anniversary present I could have ever asked for. 

We told immediate family members and a few people at work given some of the hazards of my occupation. The next two weeks were full of sweet excitement as we waited for our first ultrasound. During that ultrasound the baby didn't image as far along as we should have been. The doctors tried to be reassuring that everything looked healthy, but events over the next 72 hours made it clear that we would not be having a baby. 

At first I was sad and numb. It didn't help that all this was happening on a weekend that I was on call; a weekend on call that ended up being worse than usual. I know had a requested I could have had someone else cover (and they did for a while so I could get some sleep), but at the time we thought it might me good to carry on and keep my mind off things. It wasn't going to change the out come anyway.

Since then I've been navigating through a complexity of emotions that I didn't know I was capable of feeling simultaneously. I expected to be sad; sadness in the feelings of loss, emptiness, and let down of myself and others. Sad that I wasn't having a baby. 

Not too surprisingly, there was fear. I was fearful of the process and what it would leave me like emotionally. I was fearful that now that we've had one miscarriage that it was opening the door to a long road of future miscarriages and infertility. I was (am) afraid that we will never be able to conceive, carry, and have a baby. 

I kinda expected to be mad, but I didn't realize how sensitive I would be. I was mad that I live in a world that cares more about a dead lion than the loss of thousands of babies each year to abortion, miscarriage, and infant death. Being a veterinarian was tough for a while. I know our pets are precious to us like family and losing them is hard. But is was tough to counsel others while I was mourning the loss of human life. At times I was mad that those around me were quicker to give their condolences for the loss of a pet than the loss of our baby. I didn't blame them, it's just the situation and world that we're in. I was mad that I only talked to my doctor once during the whole process and during that time neither the doctor or other medical staff asked me how I was doing or if I needed any mental or emotional support. I was mad that each time I had to have my blood drawn I was made to sit in the waiting room surrounded by baby carriers and rounded bellies while grieving my empty womb. Most of all, I was mad I wasn't having a baby. 

What I wasn't expecting was the feeling of guilt. I felt guilty for being mad about all the above reasons. I even felt guilty for being sad. It was hard losing this baby, but others have been through so much more than I have-- multiple miscarriages, losing them later in their pregnancy, infant death, pediatric cancer, loss of spouses, etc. Did I even have the right to be that sad? I felt guilty that I had brought others into our happiness and then had to let them down too. I STILL feel guilty that I can't be as emotionally available for my close friends that are pregnant; that their pregnancy announcements brought tears of grief to my eyes rather than those of joy. It frankly embarrasses me and I'm so sorry to them. I felt guilty that my first attempt at being a mother, the job I was born to do, was a failure. Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? I felt guilty that I wasn't having a baby.  

From the beginning I've asked God to show me what He wanted from this and to let our situation bring glory to Him. For a while that's all I could manage to say to Him. And while I haven't figured out exactly what it is He wants, I know that it involves more reliance on Him and His timing. He's also revealed the ways we were blessed in the situation. I am blessed to have a God who is in control and has perfect timing. He has blessed me with a partner who is so loving and supportive. Clark is the quiet, understanding chest to cry into and says the right things when needed. I am blessed with incredible parents who drove up to be here less than 18 hours (since I had to work) just to sit and be with us. I am blessed to have compassionate and perceptive friends who seem to know just when to check in. I am blessed that as far as we know I am healthy and that we get to try for our rainbow baby. Until then I am learning, with the help of The Resolution for Women, to be content in the situation I am in as a happily married, childless, women. 

So if you meet a 1-in-4, I hope you'll have a little more understanding of what she may be going through. Nothing you can say will likely make the situation better, but somethings could make it worse. I promise I'm not singling anyone out, but statements regarding age and getting to try again are more hurtful than helpful. While we recognize you're just trying to provide hope in a time of despair, we don't want to have to try again. We want that baby. Try just telling her that you love her, that you're thinking about or praying for her. While everyone is different, in general all we need is for people to love us, support us, and recognize that we have faced a loss. So don't be afraid to bring it up. 

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking it out and hearing our story. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Transformation Tuesday

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been on a physical fitness journey. I want to share a little bit of my experience. Not to brag. Not to say THIS is what you should do to lose weight/get fit/be healthy. But to share what the Lord has empowered me to do and let others out there on their own fitness journey know that I am here, I understand, and I KNOW it is hard. I do not claim to be an expert or highly educated in human fitness and nutrition. I just want to share my story and what has worked for me in hopes that it will be helpful for someone.

 As of this week, I am 30 pounds down from my heaviest...

It has taken me 3 years, but I'm thirty pounds down. 

It took three years because the majority of the time I was dabbling; Weight Watchers for diet and some mix of Zumba and/or running for exercise. I would go for several weeks being strict and making progress then some holiday or stressful event would happen and I'd fall off the wagon. I'd lose eight pounds and gain five back. While they were vital to my initial progress, I eventually hit a plateau. The problem wasn't any of those components- each of them can and do work. The problem was me and the lack of accountability at that time (I was doing Weight Watchers online). Even when I was regularly exercising by doing Run for God through church and running with friends at work, I didn't make much progress because I couldn't commit to a healthy diet.

Insert CrossFit...
About 4 months ago I got talked into trying CrossFit. It was a small investment for 5 beginner classes and several other ladies from work were going as well... so, why not? I honestly did not think it was for me. I thought it was going to be too hard, too dangerous, too intense, too much for me. I committed to 5 classes with the thought of, "We'll see how it goes." Well, after 5 intense classes of drilling form with a quick application workout at the end, I could already tell a difference. I could do more than 5 burpees or push-ups without being completely gassed. I could tell the coaches really cared about the health and progress of each athlete. There were athletes of all ages, shapes, and sizes and a modification for each movement of the workout if you couldn't do it exactly as designed. It was a community of folks working on their own goals while cheering and pushing other athletes to accomplish theirs. I really wanted to continue on so I talked it over with Clark-- it was going to be an investment. But I had been to the $15/month gyms-- and I wasn't committed to go and I didn't see results. While joining CrossFit Staunton would cost significantly more than a big box gym, I would have a coach present for each and every workout ensuring my safety, form, and progress. And I would see RESULTS.

Now, I know there are a lot of CrossFit skeptics out there. You don't have to look hard or far to find articles that question it's safety, efficacy, and expertise of the coaches who sacrifice safety and form for weight and speed. I had a lot of those concerns too before I started. I can't speak for every CrossFit gym (or "box" as its called in most CrossFit circles), but my coaches put safety and form above all else. Even though each athlete has completed the beginner's classes where form was first introduced, we go over and drill form again and again before and during each workout. Additionally, each athlete should listen to their body. There's a fine line between pushing yourself to reach a new personal record and working outside of proper from and/or your abilities and causing injury.

Not only do the coaches at CFS emphasize physical fitness, but everyday  they discuss how without a proper diet, all the work in the gym is for nothing....

Insert Paleo...
You can't be in a CrossFit gym long without hearing the word "Paleo." At first I was pretty turned off at the thought. In general, I disagree with diets that exclude whole food groups. I personally feel that moderation is more sustainable  long-term, prevents people from "falling of the wagon," and when done correctly should give you the right balance of macro and micro nutrients. There were other things about the Paleo diet that didn't resonate with me either:
1) The "fad" effect: I didn't want to follow a diet plan simply because it was trendy and everybody else was doing it
2) The premise that this diet is "what our ancestors ate:" As a concept, OK- yes I believe that our ancestors ate fresh, in season, and non-processed foods. But as hard fact specifics- I am doubtful. And this part of the Paleo conversation normally involves the concept of human evolution, and as a Creationist I have hard time processing that thought.
3) The anti conventional agriculture mantras: Most Paleo food guides push organic, "natural," and grass fed. I'm not against any of things things specifically. I believe that society should have access to these things if they can afford them and it's great that farmers can make a living filling that demand. However, I am against the shame and fear based marketing that comes along with those products. It seems that a lot of our society has taken for granted that we have a healthy and plentiful food supply produced for us by less than 2% of the population rather than having to participate in subsistence farming like a lot of the world. Even within our own country most family cannot afford to feed their families this way and they should not be ashamed of that.
4) No dairy!?: While my job is not exclusively dairy or food animal medicine, I consider the dairy and food animal medicine that I do to be the most important part of my job. In addition to loving dairy products, it pained a part of me not to be able to "support" an industry that I love.

But the challenge was only for 30 days. Heck, I had even given up meat for Lent one time to try to better relate to and understand vegetarians. So I put my money in the pot, weighed in, did the before pictures and measurement, and completed the pre-challenge baseline workout. After 30 days, most of my reservations still held true, but I found there were some things I liked about the Paleo diet:
1) I actually THOUGHT about what I ate: Where we live it is very easy to hit a drive-through, order take out, order delivery, or go out to eat. It's so easy to do when you're tired at the end of a long day. Paleo made me think and plan and prep. We had a lot more meals made from fresh ingredients rather than fast food or box meal.
2) It made me eat VEGETABLES: even with breakfast!
3) It made me try new things: Prior to Paleo I had never cooked asparagus or spaghetti squash. During the challenge my spice cabinet grew, as well as my cooking skills and familiarity with preparing various fruits and vegetables.
4) The Results: at the end of the challenge I had lost seven pounds, about 5 inches, and improved 36 seconds on the baseline workout. The before and after pictures were pretty incredible.

After getting those results, I wasn't sure what to do after the challenge. I was resistant to Paleo for the before mentioned reasons; but it had a lot of benefits as well. It didn't take long before CFS started discussing the next challenge: The Zone Diet. Zone had much more appeal to me- not exclusive (unless you make it) and pushing for a balanced diet. We're five days into the challenge and so far... I'm hungry. But I'll wait until after the challenge before making passing judgement.

Finally, losing weight and working out takes commitment. My fear is that it is approaching obsession. I want this to honor God and to be good steward of the body He gave me and it not be an idol and take away from my time with Him, Clark, or other important aspects of life.

I know that was long, thanks for sticking with it! I will try to keep you posted!

End of the Year Wrap-Up...and the Beginning of 2015

Yeesh! Three months have passed SO quickly! I can't believe we are in the final weeks of 2014! Let's see where we left off...  Wait, what!? Yes, I started this post over a month ago...apparently this is how blogging goes for me...

Clark's birthday is September 19th. This year he wanted a good steak so we went to the Aberdeen Barn in Charlottesville. It was a interesting place with good food and different atmosphere. It's a little reminiscent of the Angus Barn in Raleigh. 

October was BUSY!! The first weekend my parent's came for a visit! It was short but we tried to make the most of it.Saturday afternoon we took a ride through the Shenandoah National Park on Skyline Drive (which is basically a northern extension of the Blue Ridge Parkway). There are only four entrances to Skyline Drive and we just drove from the most southern entrance at Rockfish Gap to the next one near Swift Run Gap. It was a new experience for all of us full of beautiful views!!

The next weekend we headed to Asheville, NC so that I could attend the Great Smokies Veterinary Conference put on by the North Carolina Academy of Small Animal Medicine. Each year veterinarians are required to complete designated hours of continuing education and attending a conference is one of the best ways to fulfill that requirement. The learning was good- but exploring Asheville was even better! The best part was catching up with my classmate, Justin and his wife, Megan over dinner at the Tupelo Honey Cafe. It was so fun to catch up and share war stories over an awesome meal. On the way home we took a slight detour to Hiddenite to see my family and eat lunch with them in celebration of my Dad's Big 5-0. 

Two weeks later we got to see Justin, Megan, and several other friends and classmates at one of my best friend's, Nikki, wedding. It was a wonderful celebration on a gorgeous day at Adaumont Farm. It seriously couldn't have been a more beautiful day. Apparently it was so fun, busy, and beautiful that I was only able to get one pic the entire weekend: 

Clark spent the last week of October at National FFA Convention in Louisville, KY. The Riverheads FFA Chapter had a very successful trip including the high scoring individual in the Dairy Evaluation CDE!

The following weekend we spent Saturday morning helping 4-Hers and FFA members get their steers ready for the Market Animal Show. Even though the show isn't until May, preparation is year around. "Nomination Day" as it is called for steers is always in November, and involves each animal getting a Market Animal Show ear tag, a starting body weight, and the opportunity for the animal to receive free vaccciations and deworming. I administered vaccines and Clark helped usher the kids and steers where they needed to be. It was a cold, but rewarding morning. Nomination Day for hogs and lambs is coming up in a few weeks.

While our trip home for Thanksgiving was short, it was packed full of family and friends! It's hard to know how to fairly divide our time, but we do our best to see as many folks as possible.

December was a whirlwind work and holiday preparation and celebrations. The joy of the holidays was quickly brought to a halt with the unexpected death of a Westwood family member. Jessee was a hardworking young man that seemed to have held every position at Westwood except veterinarian. While his family and friends will always miss him and are still coping daily with his loss, Jessee's funeral was truly a celebration of his life and a reminder of the importance of faith in Christ and living life to the fullest.

I was on call Christmas Eve and Day. It certainly was different not to be home this year. When you don't get to participate in yearly traditions, it's almost as if the holiday didn't even happen. While we couldn't be home with our actual family, our Westwood family made sure we had somewhere to celebrate. The Cromers had us over for dinner Christmas Eve and Day. It meant so much to us that we had a family to fellowship with and was a great reminder that over time Virginia will become "home".

Since I had to work the whole week of Christmas up through Saturday morning, I took the whole next week off. It was a much needed vacation, relaxing with family and catching up with friends. We even got to see Clark's nieces who live in Louisiana. It almost seemed like "old times" getting to spend New Year's Eve with the Rowan County crew and New Years Day with my Silliman family. As wonderful as it was to be...home... by the end of the week we were ready to go...home... Home is probably a word I've historically used too frivolously. In vet school I had three "homes": 1) Home to Clark 2) Home to Mom and Dad 3) Home back to Raleigh.  But now I think it is accurate to have two homes. North Carolina will ALWAYS be home and where we're from. Virginia is where we're making our current home and life. Throughout or journey here, God has provided ample reassurance to let us know this is where we are supposed to be.

On that note, 2015 is off to a great start and we're excited for what God has in store. We are currently taking the Financial Peace University course at church. We're eager to get Biblical guidance on our finances, especially as we look to buy a house this year and are trying to tackle my student loans. In addition to spiritual and fiscal wellness, I've been on a journey for physical fitness as well. More details on that to come!!


....Hopefully sooner than 3 months from now!!!

Change is in the Air

To say I've been on a blogging hiatus would be an understatement. It's not that life hasn't been worth writing about, but frankly that I haven't felt like writing about it. Even before starting the blog last year I was hesitant in fear of:

• Failing to keep up with it- CHECK
• The feeling of, "Me, Me, Me.... blah, blah, blah... Us, Us, Us... blah, blah, blah..."- CHECK
• Does anyone even care?***- TBD

***Not seeking attention and reassurance, but are these details of an average (but wonderful) life REALLY worth writing about and could I (and the reader) be doing something different/better with my (their) time???***

And honestly, I went through a spell of discouragement. As I was approaching a year into practice I couldn't help but think, "I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW, WHY ISN'T THIS ANY EASIER!!!???" I wanted to know it all and wanted to know it now! When talking with others, I found that this was a common feeling for anyone reaching the one year mark in their career. I had to accept that vet-med is tough, especially when doing mixed animal practice. I also had to remember that I work in a large practice where there is always someone to discuss cases with. While I still don't know everything, I've certainly learned a lot in a year! 

But change is on the horizon in the Adams household and it's time for an update. For a brief highlight of the year:

• Winter was cold. And snowy. They have promised us it was an abnormal season. We're hoping so, but this winter's forecast isn't looking much better! 

• Spring was busy: preparing for and then the actual Market Animal Show; Clark helped to coach JV Baseball at Riverheads; crazy schedule of a large animal veterinarian; Oh, and Clark was head of the Prom Committee :) 

• Summer: Clark stayed busy with FFA activities and we got to take a short trip to the Homestead Resort.

Despite the gloomy skies, this place is stunning! 

 

I should also probably mention that...
Clark is now a full time Ag Teacher and part time Technology Teacher! This has been such an incredible blessing for us! We have been attending Calvary Baptist Church and trying to get more involved in service for Christ and meet more believers. In my most recent attempt to find a hobby, I have dabbled in Crossfit. It. Is. TOUGH! I don't know that it's a sustainable form of exercise for me, but I'm going to go as long as I can. 

Over the last couple of weeks, we have been experiencing what I call our "First Round of Seconds;" our second Augusta County Fair, Highland Country Fair, Riverheads Young Farmers Summer Picnic, etc. It's really incredible what a difference a year makes. This was most apparent at the Augusta County Fair where this year I knew more people than I didn't know. It was such a reassuring feeling and another step in making Virginia feel like "home."

Speaking of home, I mentioned before that change is headed our way. As of last week, Clark and I are no longer home owners! We finally sold our house in NC! I was afraid to make any internet proclamations until after the closing. Now that we are mortgage free we are officially on the house hunt here. Please join us in praying that we will be patient and God's will will be apparent throughout our search. 

Unfortunately, I am so far behind I cannot talk about important visits home, visitors here, and other various events including friends getting married and having babies. Please know that those are all treasured moments for us they are just too numerous to recount at this point. I will do my best to keep everyone posted as we move forward! 

Special Visits

In my post a couple of weeks ago I somehow managed to leave out my trip to Raleigh! On December 13th I had the opportunity to return to the vet school and speak to a group of students interested in food animal/mixed animal practice. I traveled down the night before and stayed with one of my best vet school friends, Nikki. Nikki stayed in Raleigh another year to complete the Ruminant Health Internship. It was SOOOO good to see and spend time with her. To add to the goodness, I got to visit the family of one of my favorite professors, Dr. Foster, since they were hosting the Bovine Club at their house that night. He and his wife Jen have two adorable little boys that Nikki and I baby sat together several times. Since my visit they have added a beautiful little girl to their precious family. I can't wait to meet her! The next morning Nikki and I met my sister for breakfast at Bojangles so I could get my fix. I'm so glad I got to see Molly. We also surprised her at work the night before :) After breakfast, we joined another veterinarian, Christine, to meet with the students. Christine was two years ahead of Nikki and I and was such a good influence for me. She demonstrated what it was like to be a Christian, wife, and student leader during school. Additionally, she took me under her wing and fueled my interest in ruminant medicine. Christine, Nikki, and I all took different paths after graduation, so we were able to share our diverse life experiences with the students to hopefully give them some insight on what they'll experience over the next few years. Afterwards we had lunch at the Farmer's Market Restaurant- a Raleigh staple! Before heading back to Staunton I made my rounds at the Vet School to see as many folks as possible. My main goal was to see this guy...

...Dr. Barnes. my adviser. I hadn't told him I was coming to Raleigh so he was super surprised to see me. Our visit was brief, but it was good as always to see and chat with him. He and his wife are very special and I wouldn't be where I am today without their love and support! 

This weekend we had a special visit from some friends from home- Joe and Shirley Allen. They are a very sweet couple who showed me so much love and kindness as I married into a China Grove and Concordia Lutheran Church family. They were traveling up this direction so they stopped in and had lunch with us on their way through. We met at The Depot and had a wonderful meal and conversation. It's always nice when a piece of home makes its way to Staunton. 

Work has been pretty steady lately- seems like most of the large animal cases are things trying to or recently had babies. Here's one of our success stories...

Helping bring new life into the world is a feeling that is hard to beat!

Temperatures are going to get pretty cold here again this week! Everyone stay safe and warm! 

Out with 2013, In with 2014

It seems that I'm already starting 2014 behind! I woulds say that one of my resolutions is to keep up with my blog a little better... but I'm a realist...

Just like everyone, December was busy for us. It was my first month of being on call. You never know that you're superstitious until you go on call; not TRULY superstitious, but don't-call-it-a-quiet-night, don't-take-you're-work-clothes-off-until-you're-ready-for-bed, have-your-phone-with-you-at-all-times- itious or your setting yourself up for a call. Overall I was very fortunate and received no late night calls. There it goes again...my eye started twitching as I typed that...I'm sure I've set my self up for when it's my turn on call again. :) One of my most memorable calls was to sew up a horse. It was my first "stitch by headlight" situation. As the client's two and four year old children played in the cab of my truck, I couldn't help but smile at the reality of my life. Eventually it will be my two children playing in the cab, spilling Cheerios everywhere and making dirty diapers before the call is done. It was a sneak peak into the future and I loved it.

This fall I had decided that we didn't have room for a Christmas tree and had given in to the thought of not putting up Christmas decorations. However, as the 25th got closer and closer, I was missing some of my Christmas spirit. So we got a little tree that we can plant whenever we decide to buy a house. A tree, the Nativity, and stockings- I think that covers the basics.

There were lots of events the weeks leading up to Christmas: the Staunton Christmas Parade, the Young Farmers, Riverheads FFA Chapter Officer, and Westwood Christmas parties. Fortunately, we were able to head to NC on Sunday the 22nd and stay through Christmas afternoon. Monday night we took my grandmother and her cousin, Nancy, out to dinner at Porky's BBQ, one of our local China Grove favorites. It was good to spend some time with my Grandma and see some familiar faces in our old community. Tuesday we rode to Hiddenite to spend most of the day with my family.  We had fun cooking and wrapping presents for the upcoming family gatherings. I was in charge of two items: 1) Sausage and Cream Cheese Crescents and 2) Rolo Stuffed Snickerdoodles. The crescents are one our FAVORITE recipes. To make it even more cheesy, we normally add around 1 and`1/2 cups of shredded cheese. Do It. You won't regret it. The Snickerdoodles were a new recipe for me. I found the idea on Pinterest but the link was botched. So I used the Betty Crocker Snickerdoodle Recipe (which I had used before) and simply put a Rolo in the middle of the dough ball. They turned out really good and are definitely something I'll make again.

Tuesday night we headed to Berea Baptist Church for the Christmas Eve Service. The service is always a great time for believers to come together and focus on the true meaning of Christmas- the birth of Christ. After the service we headed over to my Aunt Cindy's house for the Bunton Family Christmas. Unfortunately, not everyone could attend because my cousin's kids were sick. We will certainly have to see them soon though! After three boys, my cousin and his wife just welcomed a little girl into their family this week!

Christmas Day was a food marathon! First was breakfast at Clark's Aunt Carolyn's house. Then was lunch at my Aunt Beth's, followed by lunch #2 back at Aunt Carolyn's. We were stuffed! Poor Clark had to drive back that evening so I could be at work the next day.

New Year's was quiet. It was a pretty stark reminder that our lives have changed. In former years we would have spent NYE with our friends in China Grove then met with my Silliman family on the first. But this year it was just the two of us. We debated on making the trip to NC again, however Clark had to work on the second...and it would be another 8 hours on the road...and MAYBE we would come up with something to do here... We are so blessed. We love our life here and have no doubts that's this is where God wants us to be. However, the move is still revealing to me things I might have taken for granted. Our family experienced loss this year and there are so many families I know that have also suffered loss or major illness. So my current challenge is figuring out how to I spend time with and let our NC friends and family know they are cherished while cultivating our new life here...

These are things I know the Lord will reveal to us. We have attended a new church the last two Sundays. Before last Sunday's sermon I had a mental list of "resolutions." I even had thoughts writing them down, hanging them up in my closet. I BRIEFLY entertained posting them here on the blog. But after that sermon I decided that my only true resolution was to draw closer to the Lord, wait on Him, and let Him reveal His plan in His timing. 2013 taught me a lot about this, but I know I have a long way to go. Sure, I know what I would like to see done in 2014, but my goal is sit back and see what He has in store.

A Time For Everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build, 

a time to weep and a time to laugh

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

a time to tear and a time to mend, 

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil- this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. 

Over the last week and a half we have learned that there really is a season for everything as we commemorated life, death, marriage, and Thanksgiving. Last Thursday I got a call that my Uncle David had died unexpectedly. It seemed impossible at the time and the fact that he's gone still hasn't become a reality for me. As the word spread and people began to share their memories of and condolences for David, it quickly became obvious that he meant so much to not only his family, but his church and community as well. David was full of life and love and spread that joy with everyone around him. He always let you know that he loved you and that he was proud of you- in word and deed. He was always there, with an abundance of hugs, to support you in your accomplishments. As a matter of fact, I was still paying off a debt of several hundred thousand hugs for his help chopping BBQ at my high school graduation party. As with all deaths, there was a time to weep, mourn, love, and embrace. But because of David's fun-loving spirit, there was also a time to laugh. You just couldn't help it as you looked through pictures of him in silly poses and goofy costumes and think about all the good memories. His Earthly absence has certainly left holes in our hearts and family, but through Christ we have hope and assurance of being reunited with him again. 

On Saturday we traveled to Flat Rock, NC to celebrate the marriage of our friends Philip and Lindsay. They are great individuals and a wonderful couple and we're so glad they found each other. Their wedding was certainly a time to laugh, dance, love, and embrace! The wedding was held at the Bonclarken Conference Center. Lindsay's father is a Presbyterian minister and her family has spent a lot of time there. Everything was beautiful; the chapel, the bride, her dress, her father's words, and Philip's smile were all very lovely. The message even included the passage this post is based off of. It was the perfect timing for me to hear those words.  The wedding was at 5 so we planned ahead to stay the night. Our little Rowan Country Crew stayed at the Mill House Lodge which was basically just across the street from the Bonclarken campus. We each got a room in the Dogwood Lodge. It was perfect and so much fun to walk out onto the porch and right next door be your friends. Everyone agreed that we should come back when it's warm to enjoy all the amenities. We really enjoyed catching up and hanging out with everyone. We wish Philip and Lindsay a lifetime of love and happiness!

                          

The services for David were Sunday. Monday was spent catching up with friends. That morning we went over to West Rowan High School and were able to see many friends and students that we miss. After a couple hours there, we headed to Kannapolis to have lunch with Daniel,Tabatha, and MaryLynn at our old standby- El Amigo. We used to eat Mexican with them almost weekly so it was great to fit in our old tradition. MaryLynn is growing up so fast! I'm so proud that she already loves chips, queso, and quesadillas! I can't wait to help teach her little sister (coming next year) to love it too! That afternoon I went to handout with my friend Devon and her son Miller. He's such a cutie and at that wonderful age of discovery and amazement. Monday night was the first WR home basketball game. We grabbed dinner with Bob, Deona, and Marion at Mario's Diner then headed over to the game. It was great seeing our friends and living our old life but also bittersweet knowing it would be Christmas before we could see any of these folks again. We'll never have regrets about moving to Staunton, but we sure left a lot of good people behind in Rowan County.

Tuesday we headed to my folks in Hiddenite to hang out and prepare for Thanksgiving. I helped by making a few desserts. The first was a recipe my Dad found- Elvis Presley Pie. Basically all you need to know is it involves peanut butter, chocolate, cream cheese, bananas, and bacon. Yes, you read correctly- bacon. There are many variations out there, but this is the one we used. It is so rich and delicious! There were a lot of steps in the recipe but it was so good that I'll likely be making it again. One thing to be aware of- you definitely need a deep pie dish. We used the deepest one we had and still couldn't get all the filling in. It was still delicious though! The other dessert I made was the Caramel Apple Cheesecake Bars that I made for the potluck at work last week. This time I used a metal pan (instead of glass) and did not put aluminum foil in the bottom. Overall the crust did better but I think I overcooked it. The dessert was still pretty good, but slightly overshadowed by the Elvis Presley pie and other delicious desserts.

We got to spend time Thursday with both Clark and my families before hitting the road back to Staunton. Fortunately, traffic was light and we made it home in good time. Work went well on Friday and that night we bundled up to go support the Riverheads Gladiators at their last home playoff football game. It was cold, but we stuck it out and it was worth it! Riverheads pulled out the win in the last few minutes of the game. Next week they will play away at Giles High School in hopes of winning and advancing to the State Championship Game.

The weekend has been full of rest and recuperation from our travels. I am so thankful for all that God has blessed me with: a wonderful husband, loving and supportive family, an awesome job, and amazing friends. I was starkly reminded not to take these this for granted because things can change so fast. Regardless of what happens, it has all been appointed by God and part of an ultimate plan that we don't always understand.

This week brings some changes- I go onto the large animal on-call schedule this week so I'm excited/petrified of what might drag me out of bed into frigid temperatures. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and has a wonderful week to come.